Making a Positive out of a Negative (Part 2)

021913.whining

(Part 2)

I have no doubt that Kevin Ware is experiencing some sort of depression from this freak accident. Who can blame him? He has a lot to lose like a multi-million contract with some NBA team. If I could advise him or any of you that is currently going through some bad crises, you got to have the mindset that you can benefit greatly from getting over this huge obstacle. The whole concept behind one that is mentally tough is having the uncanny ability to change any negative situation is a positive one.

When you are at these lowest moments, you need to monitor yourself and make sure you don’t let the massive negative frustration turn into self-pity. This is the worst kind of negative self-talk. It is all too easy to wallow up in sorrow and become the victim. The victim mentality always leads to feeling sorry for yourself this is the last thing you want as you purse the art of toughing your mind.  What happens when we over do the self-sympathy is that we start blaming others for our misery and not taking ownership for own actions. This is very dangerous as it can lead to self-paralysis where one does nothing but finger pointing at everyone except one self.

I know in many cases one can have something done badly to them which is not their fault, like in the case with Kevin Ware. He was just in the wrong place and the wrong time.  You may not have in control of what happen to you, but you are in totally control of how you react to the awful situation. You can either feel sorry for yourself or do something about it. Being mentally tough is always about fighting back.

One way to do this is to shift your analysis of the situation by seeing how you may have indirectly contributed to the situation. I’m not saying one should blame their self for any unfairness, but by seeing how you have made some wrong choices that lead up to the circumstance can help you hold accountable for all of your actions. The reasoning is that if you see yourself somewhat responsible for what has happened to you then you must also see yourself as having the power to overcome the awful predicament as well. This ever so slightly change in your perception of the situation is all about empowerment. In other words, if you caused it, you can also change it. In order to be adept at overcoming adversities, you must be able to learn from your mistakes. To do this, you must have strong critical thinking skills and identify the reasons  that lead to your current downfall so you can avoid them the next time around. So it is vital that you catch yourself when you are being overly self-indulgent with your suffering and absolutely refuse to take on the role of the victim.

I’m not saying I completely stopped feeling sorry for myself when something terrible has happened to me. I still do mope.  A part of me actually embraces it because it gives me excuse to drink heavily. The only difference now is that I quickly recognize it and like a slap in the face, I snap out of it with a lot of positive self-talk. Positive self-screaming at myself to wake up is more like it.

In my past when I was embarrassing feeble minded, I wish somebody would have bashed in the head with a brick whenever I would over