Quit Babying Yourself (Part 2)

images (14) (In part 1 of this series, I talked about how a weak upbringing can really hurt a person’s ability in dealing with adversity when they are an adult. However, even though a Freudian therapist would disagree, I strongly feel one can make up for the shitty job their parents did with hard physical work aimed at getting one to be mentally tougher).

So a big part of this training is teaching you how to fight back by yourself. And the best teacher to do that will be the WODs themselves. The WODs will be both your friend and enemy. If you can learn to push yourself past the red line of the WODs will inflict on you, you’ll gain the insight that you never did during your childhood. This is exactly why the WODs cannot be too easy and must force you to the limit. If the workouts are a walk in the park, you won’t gain the lessons and find it inside of you to learn to fight back. By struggling and getting past the desire to quit, you will develop the strength and self-reliance that you never had before.

By always finishing the WODs and constantly experiencing success, you will finally feel the great sense of achievement that has been missing in your life. The feeling of being unable to overcoming adversity in your life is one of the main reasons you walk around feeling inferior and get so easily frustrated when facing the most simplistic of problems.

Being coddled all your life has clearly limited you. Now is the time to break free of this overly protected state of mind.

It’s not about blaming your parents, but taking responsibility for your life right now. Your parents aren’t the problem. You are. It is under your control and it’s your choice when you decide to regress back to the infant state. If you don’t think it unnoticeable, you are really in denial. I hate to break the bad news to you, but when you act like a spoil child, it is so blatant to everyone around you that you might as well hold a rattle and put on your onezie. Really, it’s that embarrassing.

One thing you can do right now is to stop whining in your head and publicly. Whining is just an upgrade version of crying where you are seeking help from others. I consider whining and complaining one of the most damaging forms of negative self-talk. So when you are facing an upcoming personal challenge or have to do a brutal WOD, try to catch yourself before you are about to complain. Stop yourself from verbalizing out loud to everybody. This won’t stop your mind from carping, but shutting yourself up is at least a step in the right direction.  I would go as far as saying it will even help you lessen the whining that goes on in between your ears.

By understanding that all infants cry for attention, let that motivate you even more to stop letting the whole world know how you awful you feel about a facing a new challenging task.  In other words, just shut the fuck up and do the work.

As much I love the supportive aspect of a CrossFit environment, I strongly believe for some individuals it is better to train in solitude. When you are in a CrossFit class, you are surrounded by words of encouragement from you coaches and CrossFit brothers and sisters. When you are training on your alone, you must rely only on yourself to push you through the WOD. This is an ideal situation for those of you who never have to lift your pinky because everything was done for you. By being independent and on your own, nobody can help you fight your battles for you, especially when you are face with daunting WOD like today that is design to break your spirits.

Here it is today’s Litvinov WOD –

6 sets

Deadlifts – 5 reps

Barbell or dumbbell thrusters – 5 reps

10 burpees

Today’s theme is about not babying yourself so you want to stick to this goal as much as possible. But, it’s going to be hard as this WOD is very punishing on the body and your capacity to breathe normally. Right after the first couple of thrusters, you will be looking for any excuse to get you out of finishing the WOD. However, the suffering has just begun. When you get the burpee portion of the WOD is when the hurt really happens. When your legs are shaking and your heart rate is soaring, you must fight the temptations to baby yourself. You must resist all desires to go soft on yourself.  This is the whole test of today’s WOD.  So when this brutal Litvinov begins to cause you unbearable anguish, you must not look for the easy way out like lowering the rep scheme or take off the heavy weights. You lived your whole life pampering yourself so when you catch yourself wanting to do during the WOD, do the opposite. Go harder. Lift faster and with more intensity. Counter the desires to babying yourself by not allowing any self-sympathy to get in your head. Get pissed off at yourself for allowing this to occur for the better part of your life, but now is must end.

This does not mean I want you to do this WOD straight through without a break. This is ludicrous. Recovering between sets is essential and a must so you can gear yourself up to be aggressive again in the round. If anytime during the WOD and you need to catch your breath, back off. Recover, reload your mind back with motivation and continue.

Just be cautious when you are taking a quick breather because that’s when the onslaught of negative self-talk like “This is too hard” or “I can’t do this,” begin to creep up on you. When you hear it, get even madder. These are the same statements that have made you the laughing stock among your circle of friends. So when they arise, you must have a strong stopping mechanism to prevent them from growing out of your control. Sometimes an emphatic “No!” can do it. For me, my strong stopping mechanisms are thoughts like “This must end!” “Enough of this bullshit!,””I can’t live like this anymore,” or “I won’t give in to this crap it anymore!

You must follow a strong stopping mechanism with positive statements like “I will” and “I can” and “I must.” The “I must” is the most important positive verb statement as you have so much to lose if you continue living a life where you can’t take care of yourself. Nothing is more unattractive than seeing a mama’s boy or daddy’s little girl pout and throw a tantrum. If you have a habit of displaying these behaviors, I hope you realize how pathetic you look.  When I see my fiends whine about stupid shit, I just want to slap some sense into them. Really, I would be doing them the biggest favor ever.

So do yourself a humongous favor and gear up for this challenging WOD. You have to prepare yourself and understand that you must be pushed to the limit. This is the only way you will ever reverse the damage your parents did to you. They didn’t teach you how to push through barriers, so you must learn how to do it yourself. There is no other way. When the fatigue of this Litvinov WOD becomes so overbearing, you must remind yourself that with the suffering is personal growth. There is nobody to help you get through it either.

Not even your high priced head shrink. So save your cash and stop thinking that intense psychotherapy will get you that new and improved version of yourself that you been hoping to get. In most cases, it won’t. Therapy is just another form of coddling  yourself where you regress to being a child and see the shrink as a substitute for one of your parents. Lying down on a couch and spilling your guts out to a shrink for more self-pity is just another step backwards. Sooner or later, you got to shut your mouth and do some physical work. Working out your troubles through intense challenges is the most effective way to build character. How do you develop self-worth while just talking about your problems? You don’t. You become self-indulgent. So get out of the psychologist office and go earn some pride and dignity.

When you do, you will experience the gratification that you should have felt throughout your childhood.

Get ready. More elation and satisfaction is coming.

Scaled down version of the WOD –

1. Omit the burpees or do only 5 reps per set.

2. Speed walk for a minute instead of doing the burpees.

3. Do only 5 or 4 sets.

4. Omit the thrusters.

Approved substitutes

1. If you have a big ass tire, go flip that instead of the deadlifts.








5 thoughts on “Quit Babying Yourself (Part 2)”

  1. yes yes 1000x yes!

    I had lousy parents. Whatever. Negative stuff from them led to years of negative self talk. I remedied that in every area of my life except sports. But now – that’s getting fixed too.

    I vividly remember a moment testing in Muay Thai. It was a grueling 2 hours led by a terrific but very demanding professional coach. It was so incredibly hard. It was, to that point, the hardest thing I’d ever done. At one point, near the end, we had to do a bunch of calisthenics and hold plank for a long time – after 2 hours of testing and sparring. The goal was to not put your knees down, but people were and coach was calling them out. I refused. I wanted this so badly. I remember every second of it – I said to myself (really) “I will not fail myself and I will not fail in front of this coach I respect. I will finish strong.” and I did.

    I went on to a GoRuck. And I finished strong.

    And these two things have changed my life forever.

  2. Hey Cyndi – I fucken love your comment! Thanks so much for sharing and I say screw your negative upbringing! In the long run, you will thank your parents for making you work hard to make up for the shit job that they did.

    Great story in your fight class. Just goes to show you, it’s all about your desires and how much you want something.

    I love how this and GoRuck were two huge pivotal moments in your life and how you recognize what they did for you.

    Thanks again for sharing your positive experience with us!

  3. I struggled with negative thoughts about my parents for years — big time. I finally read a comment made by Desmond Tutu. He said, “If you are still angry then they are still winning.” I took that to heart, finally made peace with myself, and moved on.

    Your comments are great. I also happen to think that we all baby ourselves excessively from time to time. Once getting outside of ourselves and focusing on an accomplishment that is bigger, better, and worthwhile, the sky is the limit.

  4. Thanks For the comment, Ash! Agree with you that we tend to baby ourselves, including me. When that happens, I do like you said and focus on challenges and accomplishments.

  5. I hate to admit this, but this series sounds like it was written just for me. Years of therapy hasn’t done much for my self esteem/confidence. Been Crossfitting for a year now and never felt better about myself.

    Still, more stuff I need to work on…

    Thanks for your honest insight. You should be a shrink. My shrink.

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